My aunt Marcelle, one of my dad’s 15 siblings, was a party girl. Despite having 5 kids, she and my uncle Jerry held at least one major family reunion each summer. My cousin Rachel was about my age, and her brother Brian was close to my brother’s age. The youngest of the brothers, Gary, was 10 years younger than me so when I was about 10, we older girls thought it was fun to hang around with the new baby, forming a bond that lasted over the next few years so we got to know each other pretty well. (Youngest daughter Sharon was born when I was in college and has lived in New England her whole life, so I only got to know Sharon when we were both a good bit older.) And in between, in kind of a no-man’s land, there was Keith.
Keith was (still is!) 6 years younger than me. Now, no self-respecting 11 year old would willingly hang with a 5 year old, would they? So he mostly ran with other cousins in his own cohort (of which there was certainly no shortage). Although we were generally aware of each other, outside of an occasional game of Crazy Eights (or maybe Hearts), Keith and I didn’t get to know each other as well as his either his older or younger siblings. He left for the marines after high school then moved to SoCal, and came back east regularly but infrequently, so our paths rarely crossed. Through the Moms’ Connection Network, we were kept aware of each other and our goings-on, however we had no opportunity to get to know each other – until this week. And, though I say so myself, I think we did a pretty good job of it. We had a single full day to spend together and we talked non-stop (ok, allowing for bathroom breaks) for about 12 hours. Not bad for couple of introverts! (Or three, counting Doug.)
Catching up on the family stuff was quite interesting. That 6-year age difference means Keith and I became closest with different sets of cousins, and by association, different aunts and uncles, too. And while I grew up in New Hampshire, where our parents’ generation of the Frechette family was established, Keith grew up in Maine where about half of that group settled in later years when our grandparents parted ways. He was close to family members that I only saw occasionally at Marcelle’s legendary family reunions, and vice versa. In particular, I only got to talk with our grandmother a couple times a year, while Keith saw her all the time. I saw our grandfather regularly while Keith met him only once. And that’s only looking backward…
Where are our (remaining) aunts and uncles and cousins now? Doug and I have met up with quite a few in our travels (I’ve sort of made it my mission) – 6 aunts and uncles and 8 cousins, many outside of Keith’s regular circle. Keith had updates for me on 3 more aunts and uncles and 6 cousins that I’d not connected with. And he and most of those cousins have kids! Our knowledge of our family exploded!
Oh, and it was fun to get caught up with Keith! We’d last chatted live (and only briefly) at his mom’s funeral in 2008 – 17 years ago! – for the first time since sometime well before he finished up his time with the marines, married and moved out to SoCal. He recently retired after 30 years with the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department and became a full-time Pépère (translation: grandpa) for his 5 grandkids. Daughter Elise and her husband Ryan and their kids Angelica and Remington and son Zach and his wife Renee and their kids Henry, Oliver and Annabeth all live nearby. Finding kids’ toys on the floor or on the counter or hiding in the front yard are neither surprising nor unusual at Keith’s home.
At times, our conversations veered into current events and politics. Now, Keith leans right and Doug and I lean left and we had several fascinating and respectful conversations – immigration, healthcare, firearms, crime, social services, and other topics. What made these conversations especially rewarding is that all three of us seemed committed to really listening to each others’ opinions and finding middle ground, and seeking to understand each other’s point of view without judgement or the expectation of changing anyone’s mind. Most encouraging is that we found so many points of agreement!
Keith and I have known each other for 60 years. It was great fun to finally MEET each other! Thanks Keith for the great hospitality!
For anyone who’s interested, more Menifee pix…
